Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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