were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
