I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
