I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
