So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
