i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
