this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
