Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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