ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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