He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize