I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
