wrigley field is MILF paradise
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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