I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
