The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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