I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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