I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
