so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
