oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize