just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Holy sore nipples Batman
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
