I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
