I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
