They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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