she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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