just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
