I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Randomize
