I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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