I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
