i would punch a child for taco bell
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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