she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
