Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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