I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
