So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
