Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
sex in a hospital.. check
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
