Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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