is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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