vagina is talking i cant
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize