She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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