Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
