You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
