Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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