sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize