all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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