After last night, I could never be a politician.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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