He is an equal opportunity slut.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
