Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
