break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
