9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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