i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
This is classic penis vs brain.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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