im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize