I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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