He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
