If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
