I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
