and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
