Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
