She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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