you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
