yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
