and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
