The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
