she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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