There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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