After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize