lets start a swedish sibling band together
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
