I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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