i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize